The Truth About Morning Sickness

First of all, I just want to tell all the women out there who say they didn't get morning sickness, or that they DID but didn't throw up, "Goody gumdrops for you, but kiss my ass, you don't know sick! Keep it to yourself, Little Miss Sunshine."

Had to get that out of my system here because this is my blog and I'll say what I want. This morning, I was cruising babycenter.com and sympathized with a woman crying for help in her 11th week and look for suggestions to ease the neausea. Some lameass, named Jenny, claimed to know how she felt, but never actually had to throw up herself (thank the good Lord!). Gimme a break. Lemme tell you something Jenny, you don't know sick until you...

• are gagging so much you are convulsing your entire body and nothing is coming out. You have to down some water just so you have something to throw up
• running to the bathroom and deciding what do you have to do more, pee or barf
• you end the day 5 lbs lighter than when you started it just by sitting in one place... next to the toilet
• you puke so much one day that the next day you can't pee at all
• your dog can't stand to be around you
• you can identify what you have eaten that day by the colors in the toilet
• your throat burns and you sound like Kim Carnes
• you are so dizzy with dehydration and fatigue that you pass out on the way to the bathroom to puke

So when that happens to you, then you can say you know how it feels.

Okay, that's off my chest. Obviously I didn't let Ms. Cranky loose on the message boards, afterall, I do have some restraint.

For you lucky girls who haven't had the pleasure of 1st trimester experiences yet, I should say something about the miracle of life, and how it's all worth it in the end so I don't dissuade you from contributing to the continutation of the human race. But I won't. I hate it when people say that type of crap. But I will tell you, that I've never been so happy to be sick in my entire life. Not even when it got me out of by chemistry exam in high school.

For those women, who truly do know how it feels, here is my advice to you...

Hydration is your biggest concern right now. I found that water, both sparkling and sill, both made me more nauseous. I also found that anything carbonated made me burp more, and therefore puke more. It's a lot easier to drink something light and tasty rather than just water. Here is what I found that worked for me. By the way, this was my actual post on Babycenter.com.

• Herbal tea, iced or hot, sweetened with honey or sugar. I found that I liked peppermint tea and hibiscus tea. Starbucks has a tangy hibiscus tea, called Tazo Passion. It's very red. They serve is iced and sweet, or hot. It's pretty tangy, so I suggest using honey. Peet's Coffee has an even better one that has a hint of cinnamon, called Hibiscus C. It's so yummy, I drink more fluids with these teas than I would with ordinary water.
• Lemonade was also something I found worked well for me. I think it's because it's so light a fresh
• Ginger ale with fresh mint - Ok, I invented this because I was sick of going to fancy restaurants and having my friends order cool cocktails and me drinking water. But actually, I found that the combination really had a fresh taste rather than a too sweet taste. I also had them use a lot of ice, so it watered down the carbonation and wasn't too bubbly.

For nutrition, I couldn't keep much down and worried constantly that I wasn't getting enough protein.

• Jamba Juice shakes with a protien boost worked for me. I got the Sunrise Strawberry Sixteen with a protein boost. That type uses a nonfat plain yogurt base rather than sherbert or frozen yogurt, so there are not as many empty calories and more protien.
• Cheerios were also a gift from god to me. They are fortifed with folic acid, and are pretty darn nutritious. Fine dining to me is the Honey O's, with whole milk and fresh strawberries, and believe me, I never drink whole milk any other time.
  

Eventually, hopefully, you will feel a break in the sickness and fatigue. It hasn't gone away from me completely, and some days are still worse than others. At 13 weeks, I do feel like the worst part is behind me now, and at 11 weeks I didn't believe that it would happen.

All Growed Up

It suddenly hit me today as I was hammering out terms for a contract for subcontractors for my new company. I'm all growed up.

John and I have been living every kid's dream for the past 6 years. We go cool places, we buy all the toys we want, hang out with our friends all over the world, go to bed whenever we want, have slumber parties every night and best of all, buy sugar cereals and open up as many boxes at the same time as we want to. (Actually, we really don't eat sugar cereals, but we could if we wanted to.)

With the new company, the baby and rental properties, we now have to be, and I hate to say it, R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-L-E. People actually depend on us now. What are they thinking?

We're going to have to clean up our potty mouths, stick to a routine, and plan ahead for nights out and weekends away instead of just deciding to go to Napa at 10:30 at night.

A human life is going to need us to take care of all it's neccesities, practice first aid, know why the sky is blue and how to mend a broken heart.

People are also depending on me to pay them regularly so they can feed their own families and provide a roof over their heads.

Still others depend on us to provide nice housing for them, making sure that the management company unclogs their toilet and that the mortgage and taxes are paid.

Up until now, the things people relied on me for were thowing good parties, planning vacations, knowing the best restaurants and making great fashion accessories.

Yesterday, I wandered aimlessly through Nordstoms, my favorite store, looking at shoes, bags and jewelry, not really wanting anything because I'd rather save my money for 529 plans and the home remodel. With all the great red patent leather sandals out, you would think at least one pair would go home with me. (Ignore the fact that I already have 3 pairs, because it's not about what you already have, it's about the next outfit.)

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? At what point did babydoll dresses, Hello Kitty pens and 4am pub crawls become inappropriate, let alone unappealling?

So friends and family, please do me a favor.

• If you see my sense of style becoming terry cloth robes and acrylic sweaters, shake me and scream, "Fashion First".
• If you hear me say, "Because I said so" or "You likey you takey", immediately take me to Luna Park for a mojito.
• In general, please stop the insanity. I am 26, I can feel it.

And please, please don't stop raiding my girl room for fashion accessories. Once that happens, I'll know that you think I'm dressing like someone's mother.

Dad: Dazed and Confuzed

It's the weekend of my sister, Michelle's birthday, and the family is going out to breakfast. It's a long, long line at Mimi's, and we have a 30 minute wait in front of us. To kill time, we let Michelle open her present. We got her a super cute, fully accessorized outfit for her to wear with attitude now that she's sporting 15 years on earth. It was so cute in fact, people came up to us asking where we got it.

Once that was over, we casually mentioned that we got my dad something, for no particular reason. We handed him the gift bag and he pulled out the box and unwrapped it. He said, "Oh what a nice frame!", and promptly passed it to my step-mother, Kathy.

Let me stop here and point out the fact that the sterling silver frame is decorated with a baby carriage and has little block beads strung across it that spells out "B-A-B-Y". And don't forget the fact that inside the frame is an ultrasound picture of the baby.

But no, Dad doesn't see any of that... it's just a frame. Makes me wonder what he really sees all these years that I've been buying him Father's Day, birthday and Christmas presents.

Suddenly, Dad sprung do life as Kathy screamed, "WHAT!!!!", then asked, "Is this, what I think it is?"

Then Dad, ever astute says, "What?"

Kathy's ignoring him, and says, "Are you pregnant?"

John and I are finally glad that somebody gets it, and answer, "Yep."

Then Kathy screams to the entire population that is waiting for breakfast at 10:30am on a Saturday morning, which is considerable mind you, "We're pregnant!!!"

Dad says, "Lemme see". He means the frame. "I need to build you another room on your house."

So that's the story of how we're remodeling our house again, after only 2 years since the last remodel. Hopefully, by the end of the year, we'll have a 3 story, 3 bedroom, 2 bath home with a view, a HUGE walk in closet and a baby nursery.

Telling Mom

Although I didn't get to tell my mom under the best of circumstances, I did manage to make it fun for her. I had just flown home at the last minute to see my Nana in the hospital. We weren't sure if she was going to make it through the weekend, and I didn't want Nana to leave without her knowing that I finally did it.

Mom and Ray picked me up at the airport and we went immediately to the hospital. Nana was in ICU, so we had access to visit at all hours of the night. I was glad that Ray came too, so I could tell them at the same time.

Ray pulled up in front of the hospital, and was letting us out. I had to tell them before I went up and told Nana, so I stalled by saying I had something for them.

I had given them a book about retirement, since they are both considering it this year. However, I replaced the first page in the book with my own text. The question I posed to them was "What's the first thing you should do in retirement?"

There was a card below beckoning them to lift it. My mom thought I was going to give them financial advice. (Where would she get that idea?) But when she lifted the card, she saw "Play with your grandchild!" and a picture of the ultrasound.

Again, and just like Ginger, no sound came out of my mom's mouth. In fact, it was quiet for a while as she processed the info. (In retrospect, I think it's cuz the baby doesn't look like a baby, but a bean shaped smudge. But jeez, these women worked in a hospital, you'd think they know what an ultrasound is!) My mom can't do that neat white person neat where the eyes become bigger than the mouth like Ginger can, but I've never seen her smile so much and hug me for so long. She exclaimed, "I am so happy!!!"

In fact, Mom has pretty much been in a good mood ever since. Ray is offering to pay me to stay pregnant. I think I'll pass. After all, I live 500 miles away and morning sickness sucks.

The next day, Kami took one look at the ultrasound declared that the baby has the same head shape as John, so at least I was faithful. She's right, on both counts.

Telling Ginger

Ginger came to visit us for her annual birthday trip. We did our traditional spa and shopping day, but this time at the new Burke Williams spa in San Francisco's new ShoppingTown. I spent the day hiding morning sickness and trying not to give away the secret.

We made reservations at a local french restaurant, La Provence, to tell her the good news. Unfortuntely, because my grandma was ill, I had to fly out immediately after our spa treatment and wasn't going to be able to make dinner. John picked us up from the spa, and we decided that we had to tell her between the spa and the airport. So movie theater lobby, which is in front of the parking garage elevators, it was. At least it's a nice theater. They sell Kettle Korn and everything.

We told her we had one more birthday gift for her. It was a sterling silver frame, with a baby carriage and a string of blocks that spelled baby. In the frame we put a copy of the ultrasound.

Prior to this day, I forecasted exactly what Ginger's face would look like. And bet that no sound would come out for a while. For a woman with the gift of gab, only this could stump her.

She didn't disappoint. It took several minutes to register, but her eyes got really wide and her mouth tightened to a little O. Being Asian, I think it's really neat when white people can make their eyes bigger than their mouths. She teared up and nothing came out of the little O.

Then I was off to tell my mom.

Baby Bean

Two Christmases ago, my sister Danielle, gave me and my other sister, Kami, necklaces from Tiffany. Each pendant was the Tiffany bean. I am Big Bean, Danielle is Middle Bean, and Kami, is Little Bean.

Today Dr. Fang gave me Baby Bean.

At the beginning of her examination, she declared as she poked around with her rubber gloved covered hand, "There's definitely something going on in there!"

Dr. Fang then rolled a condom (something that would've come in handy about 8 weeks ago), onto a dildo like device and proceeded to probe around. On the monitor we saw lots of gray things that she pointed out like a tour gude, "On your left we have your uterus...". I'll spare you the rest of the details.

John said he was never so happy to be a man.

Then we saw a black void, with a little bean floating around inside. She pointed out the head, and I have to admit, it was the same size as the body. Definitely our kid.

And then there was a flashing blip. Dr. Fang said that was the heart. Omigod, we actually are pregnant.

Valentine's Day Gift

John came home on Valentine's Day. By this time, rationality had set in, and I was considering that there could be an outside chance that the test was in fact working. We had one last test remaining, so we tried it again.

John logged on to the ept website to read the directions, and I went to go pee on the stick. Again, we waited the two minutes. Again the perpendicular lines popped up, threatening to be a plus sign.

"See! It's inconclusive! The horizontal line is fuzzy!", I insisted.

"Um, honey. That is a plus. ", John corrected, "the directions say that the lines might not be the same color, but if there is a vertical line at all, then it's positive."

"Um Really? Holy Shit."

After that, neither one of us remembers what happend. We probably both fainted.